Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna were as thick as macrobiotic thieves until they weren’t. They married British dudes, pretended to be British themselves, and even shared the same celebrity trainer, Tracy Anderson
Then, sometime in the late aughts, Madge and Goop became … formers? Am I using that right? Christ, I’m old. The unofficial story for years has been that the two broke up because Madonna fired Anderson, which rubbed Paltrow the wrong way. However, an excerpt from Gwyneth: The Biography claims that the real reason is some light stalking followed by Madonna being that mom who awkwardly screams at her kids in front of everyone. Chris Martin was not a fan.
Via PEOPLE:
Their relationship reached a breaking point when Madonna showed up to an island where Gwyneth and Martin were vacationing. Madonna seemed to know that Gwyneth would be there, which Gwyneth seemed to find strange, a friend remembered.
Madonna then insisted Gwyneth and Martin join her for a big group dinner at a long table where Madonna went off on her daughter, Lourdes. Gwyneth and Martin were disgusted by the behavior. “I can’t be around this woman anymore,” Martin told Gwyneth. “She’s awful.” Gwyneth agreed that Madonna was toxic and ended the friendship.
I’m not one to defend Gwyneth Paltrow, but all of that sounds freaking awful. 1. There is nothing worse than the drop-in. I get these people are wealthy as sin and their lives are the height of luxury, but personal time is personal time. 2. You ever been at a cookout or get-together where a parent just loses it on their kid in a way that’s generally reserved for the car ride home? It sucks! Do not recommend.
That said, it is pretty amazing that Goop and Madonna broke up for surprisingly normal reasons. I would have put money on there being some sort of fight over cracking quail eggs in the wrong gilded cookware or which essential oil is better than going to the hospital. Never would I have guessed something so pedestrian. How will Goop show her face in Buckingham Palace ever again? Such shame. Such lowly shame. She might as well shop at Ross.
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