I’ve been checked out of football for years now. I can’t even make it halfway through the Super Bowl without wanting to do literally anything else. And yet, despite all that, I will never stop hating when good things happen to Tom Brady, so you can only imagine the depths of my rage when I found out he’s in the middle of a summer fling with Sofia Vergara. Have we as a nation not suffered enough? Is there no end to this sea of awful? I’ll be texting Joe Manganiello to put down the D&D dice and be a man if anyone needs— oh sh*t, he didn’t like that. Mommy! (Page Six)
Brad Pitt is already spending his PR capital from F1 to… continue dragging Angelina Jolie through the mud over the sale of their winery? Bro. (Lainey Gossip)
Peter Jackson is trying to bring back an extinct giant bird, which correct me if I’m wrong, is the literal definition of a dinosaur. Everyone needs to stop doing so much. (Celebitchy)
The IRS is over the whole separation of church and state thing. (Wonkette)
From Kayleigh: David Cronenberg’s Criterion Closet picks are here. (YouTube)
Guy Ritchie already bailed on Road House 2. (THR)
Ken Paxton is about to go through some things. (Daily Beast)
Hugh Grant fell asleep in the Royal Box at Wimbledon, which I’m guessing is bad. Do Charles’ ears start flapping if he hears snoring? I dunno. The British are weird. (Page Six)
From Roxana: Making sure we all knew Zach Braff once lived like this. (NYMag)
John Fetterman seriously needs to stop talking. Is there a freight container we can put him in? Some sort of Kong on a boat type dealie? I’m open to suggestions. (Mediaite)
Enough with the disasters already. Jesus. (Rolling Stone)
Zirza is glad she left Alan Hollinghurst’s The Line of Beauty on her shelf for almost 20 years, because she would have missed so much if she had read it sooner. “The language in the novel is opaque but beautiful, which befits Nick, who, in anything, looks for beauty first.” Which books are you glad you waited to read? (Cannonball Read 17)
From Kayleigh:
